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Funny Valentine's Card Top Picks


I really love it when someone comes into the shop looking for a card for their significant other. Especially around Valentine’s Day, it’s such a joy to be able to help someone make their partner laugh with a funny Valentine’s card, or discovering people’s in-jokes and hearing their silly stories. 

Cat’s Funny Valentine’s Cards

Cat, founding artist of Jelly Armchair. This headshot shows her smiling with her brown hair wavy and pulled to one side. She's standing against a yellow backdrop.

Cat’s always enjoyed creating unique and quirky cards. Every funny Valentine’s card is blank inside and can be used for any occasion, anniversaries, or even a ‘just because’ card as a surprise for your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife, spouse, lover, homeslice, workslice, crush, fiancee…

Our Grandpa, who the business is named after, was always dead set against Valentine’s day. We’d hate to do anything that would offend his sensibilities and we’ve found that the market is already pretty chocabloc with teddies and pink love heart cards. Although they have their place, not everyone wants to celebrate their unique relationship or anniversary that way. Some prefer a sarcastic face palm to a simpering swoon!

However you like to acknowledge your love, do it in your own way with one of our funny Valentine’s cards. We’ve got so many fantastic cards now that there really is something for everyone. If you’re looking for some inspiration, then read on for our top picks of romantic and valentine’s cards.


FuFunny Valentine's card - You Stole a Pizza My Heart. Pun Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black silhouette circle of a pizza missing a slice contains the words 'You Stole a Pizza My Heart'. It's surrounded by eight pizza-themed romance puns, including 'You're calzone one for me' and 'I knead and a dough you'.nny Valentine’s card – How to choose just one?!

Does your love go on, onion, onion? Do you love them from your head to tomatoes? DO THEY MAKE YOU MELT! If your love for them is deep pan true then this card really is the must have card of 2023. Fill it with a cheesy romantic message and serve it alongside a takeaway pizza for breakfast. Trust us, it’ll work.



Rude Valentine's card for her - Nice Buns! Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. Two buns are sat next to each other and blushing. One is an iced bun and the other is a hot cross bun. They are saying to each other 'You're hot' and 'You're sweet'. The text below reads 'Nice Buns!'. In this image, the card is stood up on a wooden table with a pink background.

Looking for a Rude Valentine’s card, but unable to access the secret shop door…

For all those non-Cheltenham abiding folks, I’m about to let you in on a pretty big secret. When refitting our shop, Liz snuck in a magical card selection just for the adults hidden behind a very Narnia-esk door.  Whilst these cards will remain a shop exclusive secret, this doesn’t stop us from slipping in a few double-entendres to our website, including our favourite rude pun, Nice Buns. This rude Valentine’s card really is limited only by your imagination.


Cheesy Valentine's day card - I Know it's Cheesy But... Pun Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black cheese with holes, inside it says 'I know it's cheesy but...'. Eight cheese puns around the edge including 'You're my roquefort ever', 'We're so much better to cheddar' and 'I love holding your hands when your parmesan mine'.

It’s Cheesy But…Our homage to the Cheesy Valentine’s card.

Being true to our nature, we couldn’t just give you one stinky pun. This magnificent card has eight of the cheesiest chat up lines known to cheese – you’re better to-cheddar, I love holding hands when your parmesan mine, edam you’re looking fine. We guarantee you won’t find a cheese Valentine’s card like this anywhere else!  Maybe next year we will make a cracker card and sell them as a set.


Dad Valentine's card - It Bears Repeating. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. Four panels showing a brown bear in a forest, the bear is saying 'You are wonderful! You are wonderful! Oh! I already said that didnt I? Oh well, it bears repeating.' The card is sat on a wooden table against a light blue backdrop.

Dad Valentine’s card – A wonderful challenge!

Let’s not beat around the bush here – finding a Valentine’s card for a dad is a particularly prickly challenge. Maybe you want to celebrate your partner who’s recently become a dad, or tell your dad how much you love him. Our top pick for a dad Valentine’s card has to be our You Are Wonderful, It Bears Repeating card. There is no limit to how many times you can tell a dad how incredibly amazing they are, and this cheeky bear is here to help! We especially like this card because it isn’t smothered in love hearts but it’s just so lovely. It’s truly the best valentine’s card for all the daddy bears out there.


Dog Valentine's card - Now I'm a Retriever. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A white card with a pink envelope. A golden retriever is standing on green grass and wagging his tail. The text is split into above and below the image: Above image reads 'And then I saw her face'; Below image reads 'now I'm a retriever'.

If you’re woofing for the perfect Dog Valentines card, then woof no further. 

Is there any better measure of love than the unconditional love given by a dog? We combined the floofiest pooch with the catchiest banger to create our Now I’m A Retriever card. (Thank you Shrek, for eternally putting that song in my head). This card is one of our best selling doggy Valentine cards and I don’t need to write you a paragraph to explain why. Save yourself some hassle – get this card, put some Smash Mouth on, and jump around like a kid on a trampoline.

Cute Valentine's card - Together Furrever. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A card with a blue envelope tucked inside. Two cats, one ginger and one tabby. They are looking at each other and entwining their tails to create a heart. Text below reads 'Together Furrever'.

A Cat Valentine’s card to stay Together Furrever. 

If you like to be snuggled up like two cosy kittens, then we recommend our Together Furrever card. Like a cat’s love, this card is understated and simple. Give the card food and it will return for snuggles. We have many other Cat Valentine’s card designs (check out our romantic cat multi card!) but these two were the OG cat puns in our first collection.




Husband Valentine's day card - Hubba Hubby. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A card with a blue envelope tucked inside. In bright red/pink block 3D writing that fills the whole card the text reads 'Hubba Hubba Hubby!'

Wife Valentine's day card - Wife Time. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A card with a blue envelope tucked inside. A golden trophy in the centre with an inscription which reads 'Wife time achievement award'

Classic designs for a Wife Valentine’s card and Husband Valentine’s card.

Hey, if you’re looking for something unique and personal for your spouse, then carry on below to our gallery of favourites. But if you just want to highlight how incredible and handsome your spouse is at being, well, your spouse, then we’ve got two particular cards for you.



A Valentine’s card without the cliché – our picks for a Girlfriend Valentine’s card or a Boyfriend Valentine’s card. 

One of the more challenging things about working in the greetings card industry is putting a new spin on an old classic and we think this is especially true for Valentine’s cards. Whether you’ve been together a week or a century, we’ve worked hard to bring you some unique and quirky cards so you can say I Love You in whatever way you wish. So to finish our showcase, we’ll leave you with this top pick selection of our most popular cards.

Send a hug card - Sending You Hugs. Funny greetings card by Jelly Armchair. Text at top 'Sending You...' In four panels, 'A bear hug, 'A heart felt hug', 'A giant hug', 'and a moose-ive hug'. Each panel has a colourful illustration showing the different hugs.

Valentine's day card - You are the bees knees, the cats pyjamas. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. Four cartoon images are arranged in a grid with the pun writing of each image below them. The cartoons read 'The Bees Knees', 'The Cat's Pyjamas', 'The Sloth's Top hat', 'The Iguana's Bikini'. The writing is a French cursive style handwriting and the drawings are all colourfully painted.Valentine's card for her - Girl Like Herbivore. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A white card with a pink envelope. A brontosaurus dinosaur is standing in the middle of the card with a smile and some leaves in it's mouth. The text reads 'No I've never met a girl like herbivore'.Long Distance Valentine's day card - Silly Sausages. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. White card with blue envelope. Four sausage dogs are dressed up in funny clothing and they all have a square of cloth draped over their bellies that spells out the text sentence 'missing you is the wurst, so i'm sending you, some silly sausages, to make you smile!'.Bookish Valentines - I Want You All To My Shelf. Pun Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black and white bookshelf cartoon sits in the middle of the page with the words 'I want you all to my shelf' spelled out on the book bindings. Around it are eight book themed romance puns, such as 'You're all I'm Tolkien about' and 'I get l'Austin your eyes'.Dinosaur Valentine's day card - You Are Dinomite. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black dinosaur, in white inside is 'You Are Dinomite'. Surrounding this are eight dinosaur puns painted in brightly decorated colours.Vegan Valentine's card - Vegan Be So Good Together. Funny Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black heart with leaves at the bottom, inside it says 'Vegan be so good together you & I'. The heart is surrounded by 12 brightly coloured and painted vegan valentine's puns.Nerd Valentine's day card - I'll never get Board of you. Pun Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black silhouette of a board game is in the middle of the card and contains the words 'I'll never get board of you'. Around it is eight coloured board game themed romance puns, such as 'I chess wanna be with you to knight'. and 'you've got a monopoly on my thoughts'.Cat Valentine's day card - It's Cat to be You! Cute Valentine's card by Jelly Armchair. A black cat shape is in the middle of the card with the writing 'It's Cat to be You' and three love hearts. Around the shape are eight cat themed romance puns, such as 'I want you to take meow-t' and 'I want tabby with you'.



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